Wedding planning is fun, but it can also be stressful. Especially if you are planning your wedding in six months and from out of state! This is the situation that I find myself in.
When Lester and I first got engaged, we agreed to take the first six months to just enjoy that stage. No planning, just have fun and throw the word "fiancé" around like confetti! Well, that six months turned into a year and some change. We had talked about being married in the fall and picked some potential dates—we had even toured the venue we were interested in—but nothing had been confirmed or decided on.
This may be the crazy in me, or the fact that suddenly everyone started getting engaged around us, but one afternoon this past March, Lester came home from work and I informed him we were getting married September 8, 2018. Insert laughing emoji. To be fair, it had been one of the dates we discussed. But whether you have two years or six months of time to plan, I think the same strategies apply. Here’s how I’m doing it, while trying to maintain my sanity!
Make Yourself Some Promises
Before we ever set a date or started planning, I thought about some promises I wanted to make to myself about the type of bride I wanted to be.
First, I promised myself that if it didn’t really matter that I would not stress over it. How do you determine what really matters? I ask myself if it’s something that my fiancé and I, or our guests, will really remember? What earrings I end up picking out or what our guests eat for dinner just isn’t worth a meltdown.
Second, I promised myself to enjoy the planning process. The wedding is just one day, sprinkled with a few other important gatherings, but all in all, we will spend more days planning our wedding than we will actually celebrating it!
Third, I promised myself to not get so caught up in planning the reception that we forget what the day is really about . . . a marriage! This was actually a tip my best friend gave me from her own experience. It seems like it should be common sense, but I realized after she said it that I had been putting so much emphasis on every other part of the day when, in reality, the ceremony is the most important part.
Lastly, be unapologetic in what you want for your big day. There will be a lot of opinions from a lot of different people throughout the process. Kindly listen and then do what you want. This is your wedding and your marriage. Set boundaries for your family and friends if needed, and don’t be afraid to speak up when they may be going too far.
Get Clear on Your Vision
If you have a short planning window, you need to be clear on your vision for the big day—from color scheme to theme and everything in between. Get out your wedding planner or journal, and start writing down the colors, styles, traditions, themes, and trends that appeal to you. When you are clear about your vision, it makes decision making much easier.
My fiancé and I were on the same page when it came to the look and feel of our wedding day. We went with a classic black-and-white color scheme with pops of gold. We wanted a classic theme as well, something a bit old Hollywood and deliciously filled with glamour. Once we decided on The Great Gatsby as our theme, it made selecting our venue much simpler. We toured one space—The Mansion at Uptown. The décor and architecture made it the perfect spot.
Don’t feel like you must tour five venues. If you like one right away, go with it! That goes for everything. I feel like sometimes we can complicate the process by over-researching or spending too much time on wedding websites, blogs, and magazines. Once you know what you like and you’ve made a decision, don’t complicate things by continuing to “look.” Trust me—been there, done that. It leads to a road of self-doubt and, in the end, I ended up right where I started!
Get Organized and Know Your Resources
I’m an event planner for a living, and I can tell you that no matter what type of event you are planning or what your time frame is, organization is obviously key. I’m a bit O.C.D. so I’m staying organized with an online planner, as well as my wedding binder. There a ton of great resources out there; find one that fits your style. I organize my to-do list by month. I then take the monthly tasks and divide them into manageable, weekly to-do lists. This helps me stay on track and not get (too) overwhelmed!
It’s also great to look at what resources may be available to you. Is there a DJ or photographer in your circle of family and friends? Perhaps you have a crafty, DIY aunt who would be perfect for helping with décor items. Make a list of items you need to buy-rent-hire, and then tap into your circle and extended circle for recommendations and resources. You can still hire outside vendors, but looking within your network may help expedite the process, as well as help with your budget!
I’m excited to share my wedding planning journey with you all! If you have questions or comments on this blog post, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @msjdstyle.
