Madison and Ryan at Barre Class
Sweaty, but victorious!
Halfway through our first class at Barre3, I thought my boyfriend was going to break up with me. There we were, squat-pulsing on the balls of our feet, heels pressed together, and a red-faced Ryan looking irate. “How’s it going over here?” whisper-asked Morgan Wolfe, the studio’s sweet and bubbly co-owner, who was teaching our class. “Great,” Ryan managed, dipping his lanky, wobbling legs even lower. As she bounced away, his glare—directed at me—returned. “I just lied,” he said through gritted teeth.
I tried not to laugh, while struggling to keep balance on my own shaking legs. This was a Ryan I’d seen during our first spin class, our second spin class, many side-by-side elliptical workouts, and even a few ill-fated plank challenges. We’d faced a lot during our three and a half years together, but our most recent relationship test—purchasing a dual gym membership—showed us brand-new sides of each other.
After years of being a solo runner, cycler, and fitness class attendee, I wasn’t looking for a workout buddy. Exercising with someone else almost seemed like an invasion of privacy. I was content with my single YMCA membership, where I could try classes when I wanted, run when I wanted, and maybe grab a set of fifteen-pound (okay, ten-pound) weights every now and then. Except . . . I wasn’t as disciplined as I’d like to think. It was easy to return home after a long day and watch my gym plans fade away, and it affected no one but me.
Then, in December, Ryan decided he might go to spin class with me. “How hard can it be?” he asked, while eating an entire frozen pizza an hour before the class. “It’s just sitting on a stationary bike.”
Now, I’m not exactly Gwen Jorgensen. I know spin class is challenging, and figured he’d be surprised by its intensity. But I buddy-passed him into the class anyway, and then got to chant “I told you so” in my head for 45 glorious minutes as I pedaled on, Ryan a sweaty (but persevering!) mess on my left. I thought for sure this little experiment was over.
But no. The next day, he decided he wanted to sign up for his own membership. “That was fun,” he exclaimed. “We should do that again.”
And, much to my surprise, it was fun. Despite myself, I learned I liked having a workout buddy. We pushed each other to go to the gym when we would rather stay home, we tried new workouts together, and we had a new hobby that brought us closer than ever. After a couple months of gym time, though, we decided to try something new—which is how we ended up in barre class. I’d done barre once (thanks, Groupon!), but Ryan had never done anything like it—not yoga, not Pilates, not its distant cousin of ballet. “Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect,” he told me afterward. “Up until that morning, I thought we were going to that class that uses barbells.”
Photo courtesy of Barre3 Edina
Morgan Wolfe, co-owner of Barre3 Edina
Morgan Wolfe, co-owner of Barre3 Edina, patiently led us through the class.
If you’re not familiar, barre does not involve barbells. Class participants use light hand weights, a squishy Barre3 Core Ball, and a ballet barre—but mostly their own body weight—to perform small, isometric movements that lengthen, stretch, and strengthen the body. Sounds pretty easy, right? Wrong. Those tiny movements, like holds and pulses, made my legs shake harder than any workout I’ve ever done—and, obviously, Ryan agreed. Somehow our bodies (and our relationship) survived the workout, but trudging up and down stairs felt close to impossible the next day. Ryan was way sorer than I was, and when my aches faded after a day or two, he claimed I “didn’t do the class right.” (I’d like to think I’m just a little bit stronger.)
Who knows what class we’ll try next? Maybe a class that actually does use barbells? A rowing class? Maybe my former-competitive-swimmer boyfriend will finally teach me strokes past the doggy paddle, which he’s been threatening to do for years. But no matter what semi-competitive, sweat-inducing situation we’re in next, I know we can get through it. And, in the end, we’ll be stronger.
Tips for exercising with your partner (so you won’t want to hit each other over the head with a dumbbell):
Recognize your strengths—and your partner’s. It’s highly unlikely you’ll be at the exact same fitness level as your partner. Use this to your advantage! I have a stronger core than Ryan, so I tend to push him to do longer ab workouts than he might do on his own. On the flip side, he’s better at cardio, and I certainly stay on the elliptical longer if he’s next to me. Push each other to do your best—without making your partner feel discouraged.
Try something new. Going to the gym with Ryan gave me the perfect excuse to try new classes or workout programs. It put us on a nearly even playing field, and it was way more fun (and less daunting!) to try them with a buddy.
Don’t get (too) competitive. Exercising together is supposed to be fun. Try not to let competitive feelings get you down—and certainly don’t let it affect your personal relationship. Every pair is different, and while working out together may strengthen some relationships, take step back if it threatens to damage yours.
Barre3 classes are offered in Edina or can be streamed online with access to 500+ workouts.
