We Ate ALL the New Foods at the 2017 Minnesota State Fair

We came. We saw. We ate ourselves into hand- and feet-swelling sodium comas. And while our hands shrunk back down to manageable sizes (literally, it's physically difficult to make our fingers type this), we used them to tell you what's what with the 2017 crop of new eats and drinks at Minnesota's annual ode to excessive consumption. At its primordial core, the State Fair is about sodium-filled gluttony, and such a perpetually-growing beer-battered bounty must be vigilantly policed. Which is why we have again sacrificed our bodies to the sodium gods and ATE ALL THE NEW FOODS (and drank all the new beers) and then assigned GET IT, SKIP IT, or YOUR CALL scores to every last one, so you know exactly what bites to try on your #MNStateFair adventure. Go forth, friends, and join us in the sodium void.

Bacon Fluffernutter

Grilled cinnamon bun sandwich with a bacon, peanut butter, and marshmallow cream filling. At The Sandwich Stop, located on the west side of Clough St. between Carnes & Judson avenues. $9.00

Stephanie March: GET IT. There is a lot of sexy bacon around the Fair, by which I mean it's used to adorn many donuts and pimp out other sweetly fried dough bits, and let's be honest, it's a bit Paris Hilton at this point. BUT this is one place where the bacon works. This peanut buttery melty thing wins as the universe of the sandwich comes together to move beyond sexy bacon.  

Drew Wood: GET IT. Imagine candied bacon, PB, and marshmallow cream sandwiched between two kinda crispy pancake thingies...Then devour. 

Bacon Up Pup

A Belgian waffle served on-a-stick with bacon in the batter, dipped in chocolate, drizzled with maple syrup, and topped with whipped cream and bacon. At Granny’s Kitchen Fudge Puppies, located on the east side of Underwood St. between Dan Patch & Carnes avenues, outside the Food Building. $7.00

SM: SKIP IT. What are we even doing here? 

DW: SKIP IT. Sounds kinda epic but ends up being a chocolate covered donut at twice the price. 

Blazin’ Olives

Deep fried olives and jalapeños. At Fried Fruit and Fried Olives located on Nelson St. south of the Grandstand. $8.00

SM: YOUR CALL. I love the regular fried olives, but these don't really blaze. At all. 

DW: YOUR CALL. You can never, ever go wrong with the deep-fried olives at this place, but the only reason I'm leaving this one up to you is that from the name to the ingredients you're expecting this to bring some heat, but the jalapeños are actually ground into the cream cheese filling, so while you can kinda taste them, you're definitely not breathing fire. 

Bowl O’ Dough

Scoops of straight-up, raw cookie dough that is safe to eat and available in four flavors:

• Brownie Batter Swirl: A chocolate chip cookie dough and brownie batter mash-up.
• Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (gluten-free): A mix of classic cookie dough and chocolate chips.
• European Cookie Butter: Made with Biscoff® European spiced cookies.
• Lemon Ricotta Cheesecake with Blueberries: Lemons, fresh curd ricotta cheesecake, and blueberries blended into a sugar cookie dough.

All served with a side of sea salt-flavored ice milk. At Blue Moon Dine-In Theater, located on the northeast corner of Carnes Ave. & Chambers St. $8.00

SM: YOUR CALL. Maybe you are a closet cookie dough eater and this season has been your coming out party. Kudos. This is for you. (Not quite sure you need/want the ice cream on top, though.)

DW: YOUR CALL. "Bowl O' Dough"? More like "Bowl O' Ice Cream With A Couple Bits Of Dough Underneath It". 

Breakfast Buddy Bowl

Waffle bowl filled with hash browns, maple syrup, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese and bacon, topped with a biscuit, country sausage gravy, and green onions. At LuLu’s Public House, located at West End Market, south of the Schilling Amphitheater. $6.00

SM: SKIP IT. That biscuit was rock hard, and I didn't really get the waffle cone bit. But, let's campaign for more hashbrowns in things next year. OUT: Bacon IN: Hashbrowns.

DW: SKIP IT. LuLu's is great—especially for beer—but the Breakfast Buddy just doesn't deliver on flavor. It doesn't taste bad, doesn't just really taste like anything. 

Brown Ale and Onion-Gouda Tipsy Pie

Onions caramelized in Lift Bridge Brewery’s Chestnut Hill Brown Ale with smoked Gouda cheese, baked in a pie crust, topped with an onion sugar and drizzled with a sweet beer glaze. At Sara’s Tipsy Pies, located in the Food Building, south wall. $5.00

SM: YOUR CALL. I have a weird aversion to cheese with sugar things, but onion sugar and beer glaze hit a new territory and I felt confused, mostly.  

DW: GET IT. Perfect for the person who thinks "I want to get all three of the Fair food groups (sweet, savory, and beer) in one high-concept bite". Seriously, though, it works. 

Cheesy Nacho Corn on the Cob

Roasted corn on the cob lightly coated with crushed Dorito corn chips and nacho cheese. At Texas Steak Out, located on the west side of Underwood St. between Lee & Randall avenues. $6.00

SM: SKIP IT. You get a nacho cheese Joker smile when you bite into it. And your hair gets stuck in the cheese, and then you cry. Move on. 

DW: GET IT. You know what makes perfectly smoked corn on the cob even better? A coating of crushed Doritos and a half gallon of institutional nacho cheese.  

Cherry Bombs

Red licorice dipped in batter, deep-fried, and dusted with powdered sugar. At Vegie Fries, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Underwood & Cooper streets. $5 

SM: SKIP IT. Tastes like lipstick.

DW: YOUR CALL. Always thought that deep-fried candy bars would be better with red licorice instead of candy bars? Then this is for you.

Chili Maple Bacon Donut

A Bacon and maple fried donut covered with chili-maple glaze and sprinkled with candied bacon pieces. At Farmers Union Coffee Shop, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets. $6.50

SM: YOUR CALL. I liked the spicy-sweet flavors on TOP of the donut, but my only real bag was that the donut itself was a bit dry and sandy. Might be better in the morning, we had it late afternoon.

DW: SKIP IT. There were lots of promising flavors there, but the chili is really the only one that came through. 

Chocolate Popover with Peanut Butter Spread 

Hot out-of-the-oven chocolate popover with a side of peanut butter spread. At LuLu’s Public House, located at West End Market, south of the Schilling Amphitheater. $6.00

SM: SKIP IT. That grainy and dry peanut butter killed it for me. Like deer on your fender dead.

DW: SKIP IT. The popover didn't pack much punch and the PB was more like crumbly Reese's Peanut Butter Cup filling than something actually spreadable. 

Cranberry Wild Rice Meatballs

Swedish-style meatballs with cranberries and wild rice blend covered with Lingonberry sauce. At Hamline Church Dining Hall, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Underwood & Cooper streets. $11

SM: GET IT. CRIPES AND CRIMINY GET IT. You need to go here and sit at the checked table-clothed tables, elbow to elbow with someone not born after television, and eat a Minnesota meal. These Swedish wild rice meatballs are so rich and real, they will root you to your local soil, and the lingonberries will give you wings, dontchaknow.

DW: GET IT. The Swedish meatballs are gigantic and as legit as Ingebretsen's. The lingonberry sauce is doubly legit, and you top it all off with the fact that that $11 also includes a mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, and corn bread...Hamline FTW.

Deep-Fried Avocado

Avocado slices dipped in a lightly seasoned batter, deep-fried, and served with chipotle ranch dipping sauce. At O’Gara’s at the Fair, located at the southwest corner of Dan Patch Ave. & Cosgrove St. $8.00

SM: SKIP IT. Wanted so hard for this millennial-bait to work, but there was no flavor to the 'cados, not spice in the breading, and the sauce pack from Marzetti's was a bit of a let down.

DW: SKIP IT. It's quite possible that O'Gara's found the only food on earth that's not better deep fried. 

Deviation Stout Steak Taco Naan

Steak marinated in Modist Deviation 004 - Mexican Dark Chocolate Stout beer, grilled and topped with shredded lettuce, pico de gallo, queso fresco, cilantro lime, and jalapeño ranch sauces, and wrapped in warm naan flatbread. At San Felipe Tacos, located in the Food Building, east wall. $10

SM: YOUR CALL. These naan tacos are fine, but when you pimp out the steak as being marinated with Mexican Dark Chocolate Stout, there should be SOME flavor agent of that coming through. I couldn't find it. 

DW: GET IT. You can't really taste the Modist brew that the steak was marinated in at all (at least we couldn't on our batch), but even still, this naan taco made for a dynamic, juicy bite. 

Double Dose of Pork Belly

100% ground pork belly burger topped with crisp smoked pork belly, pepper jack cheese, coleslaw, and pickled onions, served on a toasted bun. At RC’s BBQ, located on the north side of West Dan Patch Ave. between Liggett & Chambers streets. $7.00

SM: GET IT. Charlie Torgeson has created a fat little slider bite that is a porky, fatty situation of love. The onions are bright, the habanero bbq sauce doesn't blow your mouth apart, it all works.

DW: GET IT. The artist formerly known as the Famous Dave's stand rarely has a new-food misstep, and 2017 is no different. I mean, all they did was reinvent the cheeseburger using GROUND PORK BELLY and then, as if that wasn't gloriously gluttonous enough, topped it with MORE PORK BELLY. 

Duck Bacon Wontons

Duck bacon, grilled sweet corn and cream cheese combined inside deep-fried crescent-shaped wontons and served with dipping sauce. At Giggles’ Campfire Grill, located at the southeast corner of Lee Ave. & Cooper St. at The North Woods. $8.50

SM: GET IT. I was definitely looking for more cream cheese-filled things, and that is a serious statement, folks. It was where I was at. They were fried crisp and hot, sturdy little fat pillows that supported my hot cream cheese needs. That sounds gross, but it really wasn't.

DW: GET IT. Duck bacon, meet world. World, meet duck bacon. You guys are going to love each other...

Fall Guy Breakfast Panini

Capicola and scrambled egg topped with white cheddar on ciabatta. At The Hideaway Speakeasy, located in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section. $8

SM: YOUR CALL. This had potential, I felt like it was meant to be cheesier or better assembled so that we could have a legit breakfast sandwich, but it was a bit dry and lifeless. I might try this one again on another day and amend—this IS the first go-round for these kiddoes. 

DW: SKIP IT. Lee Majors would not be impressed. 

Giant Egg Roll on a Stick

A traditional Vietnamese egg roll, deep-fried, on a stick. New vendor; also serving garlic cream cheese wontons, Vietnamese iced coffee, and strawberry and mango bubble teas. At Que Viet, east side of Cooper St. outside the Merchandise Mart. $6.00

SM: GET IT. This will make all my other egg-roll consumptions seem . . . lesser than.

DW: GET IT. From here on out it should be mandated that all egg rolls be the size of burritos, deep fried, and served on a stick.

Hill Country Beef Pocket

Black pepper mushroom cream served with a side of seasoned dipping sauce. Classic beef stroganoff flavors in a flaky pocket. At The Blue Barn, located at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center. $8.75

SM: YOUR CALL. Ours was a bit flabby, but the inside was beefy and tasted of glorious Lutheran binder. Not sure if the oil was hot enough …. could be different in a day.

DW: YOUR CALL. I love Blue Barn, and this had some rad flavor, but it was just not quite as crispy as I wanted it to be. 

Honey Puffs (Loukamades)

Deep-fried dough balls crispy outside and sweet inside, tossed in a sweet syrup, and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. At Dino’s Gyros, located on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets. $6.00

SM: YOUR CALL. I dunno … the sticky-finger factor is high here, but the sweetness of honey was a nice, more natural, flavor than some of the other fried sugar bombs.

DW: YOUR CALL. More bread-y than sweet on the inside. 

Italian Bomba Sandwich

Beer-braised pork shoulder with prosciutto cotto ham, fontina cheese, giardiniera (Italian relish), and aioli on a grilled ciabatta roll. At Mancini’s al Fresco, located on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets. $8.25

SM: GET IT. Wowza, this is a massive sandwich. While I was trying to figure out how to shove it in my face, a guy near me said, "Well, you can't always be cute". It's rich, fatty, porky, sloppy, and a def get (but split it with a few others).

DW: GET IT. So huge. So juicy. So good.

Junior Jonny Pops

Unlimited for a day with a $10 wristband. Available in five flavors: Strawberries & Cream, Coffee Chocolate & Cream, Raspberries Blueberries & Cream, Strawberry Banana & Cream, and Pineapple Coconut & Cream. At West End Market, center section. $10

SM: GET IT. And make you kids sherpa popsicles to you in payment for ride tickets. 

DW: GET IT. Just think of the value if your kids eat like 38 Junior Jonny Pops throughout the course of the day.

Maple Cream Nitro Cold Press Coffee

Locally sourced heavy cream and maple syrup in a cold brew coffee infused with nitrogen. At Farmers Union Coffee Shop, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets. $8.00

SM: GET IT. Like the best Sport Shake known to man.

DW: GET IT. The hottest trend in cold brew coffee meets the oldest Minnesota flavor in the book. 

Memphis Totchos

Sliced bananas and sautéed bacon over tater tots, topped with peanut sauce. At Snack House, located in the Warner Coliseum, south concourse. $9.00

SM: SKIP IT. You know, there's a reason why we don't put whipped cream and chocolate on our baked potatoes: BECAUSE TATERS NEEDS CHEESE, PEEPS. 

DW: SKIP IT. It's like fat Elvis was on a bender made a late night Taco John's run, and then got creative with the Potato Oles.

Miller's Flavored Cheese Curds

Deep-fried flavored cheese curds (garlic, jalapeño, ranch, traditional). East side of Nelson St. between Dan Patch & Carnes avenues, next to the Giant Slide. $6.00 each

SM: GET IT. A nice addition to the curd set. I liked the jalapeno best, ranch least. 

DW: GET IT. I mean, first of all, cheese curds FTW always. Second, my dad, a man who is legendarily indifferent to cheese curds, was with us and the jalapeño curds even won him over. 

Mini Donut Gourmet Sundaes

Mini donuts rolled in cinnamon sugar, topped with cinnamon apples, drizzled with Ghirardelli caramel, and piled high with homemade vanilla bean whipped cream. At The Mighty Midway. $7

SM: GET IT. These crazy cats on the midway are jamming good mini-donuts into a big cup and topping them with all sorts of crazy shenanigans and when you consider the lights, the sounds, the colors, and the teens around you, it's a brilliant match. Sugar rush: taken to 11. 

DW: GET IT. You have to go waaaaaay into the Midway to find said family, but once you do, and they bestow upon you their masterfully prepared donuts, you will be glad you have taken the journey. 

Mini Sconuts

Buttermilk scone holes filled with chocolate, marshmallow, and Nutella®, deep-fried and topped with a dusting of powdered sugar. (Gluten-free) At French Meadow Bakery & Cafe, located on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets. $6

SM: GET IT. Also: more Nutella. These were simple and tasty, a great morning grab if you're looking for that first choco-hit. Be prepared to wait the longer the day gets. 

DW: GET IT...if you don't mind waiting for a really long time for something that is quite yummy but only three in number. 

Mobster’s Caviar

Cream cheese dip with crab meat, green onions, fresh red pepper, and water chestnuts, served with whole wheat flatbread crackers. At The Hideaway Speakeasy, located in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section. $11.00

SM: SKIP IT. Just can't do crab (?) dip at the Fair. Nope.

DW: YOUR CALL. Solid cocktail party fare. Less solid Fair fare. 

Pie'n the Sky Malt & Sundae

A sweet and tart mix of crunchy, spiced “airplane” cookies, and lemon curd, topped with dark chocolate drizzle and served with vanilla ice cream as a sundae or malt. At Dairy Goodness Bar, located in the Dairy Building, south wall. $5.00

SM: YOUR CALL. This might be a personal thing for me, I'm not ALL ABOUT those airplane cookies, I'm a pretzel pack girl. I'm not going back for this one, but you could. That ice cream is tops no matter what. 

DW: GET IT. "Tart" is an understatement, but anything made with vanilla soft serve from the Dairy Building is alright with me. 

Pizzarito

Flour tortilla filled with pepperoni, Italian sausage, risotto, mozzarella, and marinara, coated with garlic butter, parmesan and Italian spices, baked and served with a side of marinara. At Green Mill, located on the east side of Cooper St. between Randall & Wright avenues, at Family Fair at Baldwin Park. $5.00

SM: GET IT. And I'm going to have to defend this. But I was standing in this HUGE line, and the guy in front of me got a slice of cheese pizza, and the guy behind me got a slice of pepperoni. Really? You pay to come to the Fair and eat a slice of cheese pizza? This little hot pocket is $5!!! And it's a pretty substantial meal, stuffed with sausage and pepperoni and good sauce and cheese, why are you flatlanding that 'za? I'll admit the risotto was the weak point, but it was still all the hot flavors for $5. Mock me if you will, but I will mock you harder for your slice. Smarch, out. 

DW: GET IT. How has mankind gone this long without turning pizza into a deep-fried burrito? 

Polish Corn Dog 

A corn dog made with polish sausage instead of an all-beef hotdog. At Hand Dipped Corn Dogs, west side of Cosgrove St. between Wright & Dan Patch avenues. $7.00

SM: GET IT. YOU GUYS. I love polish sausage and I love corndogs, and I have always felt that there could be something more than just length added to corndogs, there could be girth. I know, this is a family show, but don't censor that fat sausage. 

DW: GET IT. It turns out when you stuff a polish into corndog clothing, the best of all sausages gets even better. 

Slow-Roasted Pork Mole Tamale

Fresh corn tamale with slow-roasted pork, mole coloradito sauce, and black bean and pineapple relish. At Tejas Express, located in the Garden, north wall. $10

SM: GET IT. Jake was super pissed at me that I ate the whole tamale and left none for him. 

DW: GET IT. This was a quality bite and I don't even normally like mole. 

S’more Fun

Marshmallow ice cream with chocolate and graham crackers. At Hamline Church Dining Hall, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Underwood & Cooper streets. $5/ single scop

SM: GET IT. What he said. 

DW: GET IT. I'd never met an Izzy's flavor I didn't love before today and still haven't. 

S’moresas!

Marshmallow and chocolate fried in a crisp shell with chai dipping sauce. At Hot Indian, International Bazaar, east wall. $6.00

SM: GET IT. I liked this Cadbury Cream Egg turned crispy fried treat. That dipping sauce was a major factor in the win, don't skimp. 

DW: YOUR CALL. If you're into super rich chocolate, you'll be all over these guys, but if you're like me and prefer chocolate that's not quite as heavy-handed then you should probably skip it. Steph's right about the Cadbury Cream Egg element though. . .That was definitely kind of a thing going on there.

Sonoran Sausage: ONE.BAD.DOG

Tex-Mex sausage stuffed with pepper jack cheese, wrapped in bacon, baked, and served on a cornmeal-dusted bun with fresh corn salsa and a drizzle of avocado ranch sauce. At Sausage Sister & Me, located in the Food Building, east wall. $8.00

SM: YOUR CALL. I like a Sonoran dog, with a proper application of bacon, and bedazzled with corn salsa and avo ranch sauce. Oh, and stuffed with cheese! I don't give a hooey about eating that bun, so I housed that dog sans bun. Follow suit if you're feeling that. 

DW: YOUR CALL. I was going to say "SKIP IT" because the bun is copious and kinda dry and totally gets in the way, but then Steph reminded me that a sausage stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon and adorned with tasty stuff should not be judged on bun alone.

Spicy Thai Noodles

Rice noodles and red curry with coconut milk served with kaffir lime, basil leaves, bell peppers, galangal, onions, and tomatoes. (Gluten-free) At Oodles of Noodles, located in the Food Building, east wall. $10 (w/ chicken)

SM: GET IT. Delightful. Something fun and bright for the GF set. 

DW: GET IT. The spice on these is real, friends. 

Sweet Corn Blueberry Éclair

Kernza flour éclair filled with sweet corn pastry cream and topped with blueberry glaze. At Farmers Union Coffee Shop, located on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets. $6.50

SM: YOUR CALL. I loved being able to try the kernza dough—you'll be reading a lot about it in the future, and the blueberry topping was nice. The whole thing was a bit goopy, but good. 

DW: YOUR CALL. The sweet corn pastry cream inside this thing totally mystified me. I'm honestly not sure if I liked it or not, but I can tell you it's like nothing I've ever tasted. 

Sweety’s Churros

Sweet potato, cinnamon, and nutmeg kneaded into a traditional churro dough, deep-fried and served with a side of chocolate or maple-brown sugar sauce or whipped cream. At Potato Man and Sweety, located on the west side of Liggett St. between Carnes & Judson avenues. $5.00

SM: YOUR CALL. These might have just been over cooked. Liked the sweet potato flavor, kinda Septemberish, but they were little sticks of rock hard stabbers. 

DW: YOUR CALL. The flavors were killer, but ours were overcooked to the point of being churro croutons. 

Swine & Spuds

Bacon-wrapped pork belly and mashed potato croquettes served on a skewer and topped with a choice of homestyle gravy, Korean Bulgogi barbeque sauce or sweet chili sauce. At Swine & Spuds, located in the Warner Coliseum, northeast corner. $8.00

SM: SKIP IT. My favorite part of this dish was standing in line behind the guy who kept asking for the Bellagio sauce. "Bellagio … yeah, that Korean bellagio sauce." Vegas never happened, don't roll your dice here. 

DW: SKIP IT. The spuds were a-ite, but the swine half of the equation was a-wrong. 

Swing Dancer Sandwich

Honey smoked salmon, cucumbers, capers, and cream cheese with fresh dill on pumpernickel, served with sliced lemon garnish. At The Hideaway Speakeasy, located in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section. $12.00

SM: GET IT. Hearty and generous, delicious, and fresh. It's a nice option for those not wanting to go knuckles deep in the fry oil. 

DW: YOUR CALL. That's some seriously smoked salmon in them thar slices of pumpernickel.

Teriyaki Steak

Steak marinated in various spices and teriyaki served with white or fried rice. At Chan's Chicken on a Stick, located at south side of Judson Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets. $12

SM: GET IT. Seriously, why don't I eat at this booth more? There are tasty looking birds being grilled right out front. This ribeye teriyaki sitch, with the snappy green beans and fried rice, was a hit for me. Def for the hungry. 

DW: GET IT. Chan's is the place that deliciously smokes out the entire south side of the Fair grilling its myriad meats, and this new edition lives up to the aromatic hype, and comes in a hefty portion that totally justifies the $$$. 

Thai Rolled Ice Cream

Salted caramel ice cream spread thin and then rolled, topped with whipped cream, caramel, and pretzels. At Rainbow Ice Cream, several locations around the fair. $7.00

SM: GET IT. Sleeper hit of the fair, this one is fun to watch and fun to eat. They take your ice cream, mash it up, smoooooothe it flat, then roll it into rolls (like a HOHO). Skip the whipped topping and just go for the ice cream. 

DW: GET IT. I cannot possibly describe this, which should be all the more reason for you to experience it for yourself. 

Triple Truffle Trotters

Sliced peppers and bacon with black diamond truffle oil mayo on top of waffle fries. At The Blue Barn, located at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center. $7.50

SM: GET IT. If you are anti-truffle, stay away. If you can enjoy a little whiff, feel good about these waffle fries. 

DW: GET IT. The first bite and maybe best bite of food I took all day. I mean, truffle oil mayo. C'mon.

Wild Bill’s Breakfast Bake

Scrambled eggs, roasted chicken, and chorizo sausage baked and topped with salsa and a mix of lettuce, pickled red onions and cilantro. At The Blue Barn, located at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center. $8.75

SM: GET IT. In the battle of the West End breakfast bakes, this one kinda wins. Not only for the chorizo, but also for respecting your need for a morning kicker while not taking over all of your gut space. 

DW: GET IT. If you're getting to the Fair early and looking to build a base for your heroic day of eating, this chilaquiles-style monster is it.

BEER

Adult Red Bull Slushie

To rev you up for a day at the fair, LuLu’s Public House is mixing neutral still malt beverage (non-carbonated beer) with Red Bull. This mixture is put into a slushie machine for a refreshing jolt at any time of the day. 8% ABV. The neutral still malt beverage is brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by Insight Brewing. LuLu’s Public House, located at West End Market, south of the Schell’s Stage at Schilling Amphitheater. $6.00

SM: SKIP IT. Just ... why?

DW: SKIP IT. We got the orange one but you wouldn't have known it because it had almost zero flavor. Kinda tasted like if you had a glass of OJ over ice, drank all the OJ, then came back and took another sip after the ice melted.

Bauhaus Brew Labs’ The Shandlot 

“The sultan of suds,” “The colossus of quenchers,” “The GREAT Shandino.” Bauhaus’ take on a classic shandy sums up what days at the fair are all about: sun, summer, and fun—with thirst-quenching lemon thrown in for good measure. 4.5% ABV. 15 IBUs. Brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by Bauhaus Brew Labs. Ball Park Café, located on the east side of Underwood Street between Dan Patch and Carnes avenues, outside The Garden. $8.50/ 20oz

SM: GET IT. Lemony lightness and a serious quencher. 

DW: GET IT. A shandy that is at once refreshing and punny. 

Bent Brewstillery Hungarian Cherry Wheat Ale

Bent Brewstillery teamed up with the 2016 Minnesota State Fair Homebrew Gold Medal winner to create this super fruity and thoroughly refreshing wheat ale that has a luminous red color and a backbone of American-grown Hungarian tart cherries. It’s malty and rich, yet boasts enough vibrant acidity to make it an excellent summer sipper. 5% ABV. Brewed in Roseville, Minn., by Bent Brewstillery. Ball Park Café, located on the east side of Underwood Street between Dan Patch and Carnes avenues, outside The Garden. $8.50/ 20oz

SM: GET IT. This one snuck up on me. I kept going back for this one and then mourned when it was gone. 

DW: GET IT. From the moment I laid eyes on this one (I mean, look at that beer up there!) I knew it was meant to be.

Bent Paddle Mosaic Kanū

“The Weekend Warrior,” “The Tin Tank,” “The Camp Classic.” Most canoeists experienced their first paddle in an aluminum canoe. They are perfect for beginners—rugged, stable and glaringly bright. The Kanū Session Pale Ale pays homage to that nostalgia. The pale ale is reinforced with a boatload of brilliant Mosaic hops for a tropical, fruity hop bump. 4.8% ABV. 48 IBUs. Brewed in Duluth, Minn., by Bent Paddle Brewing Co. Ball Park Café, located on the east side of Underwood Street between Dan Patch and Carnes avenues, outside The Garden. $$$$

SM: GET IT. It was a bright, sparkling, hop-jammed day with this beer. 

DW: GET IT. Mosaic hops have never made a beer worse, and they didn't this time either. 

Coasters Beer Malt

A spin on a classic malt, the beer malt is a sweet treat that starts with vanilla ice cream and is then mixed with malt powder. Added next is a dash of vanilla bean flavor. To bring it all together, it’s blended with Boulder Beer’s Shake Chocolate Porter for a mild chocolate taste. Shake Chocolate Porter has an ABV of 5.9% and is brewed in Boulder, Colo., by Boulder Beer. Coasters, located on the southeast corner of Carnes Avenue and Liggett Street. $$$$

SM: GET IT. I used to make Guinness ice cream and this reminded me of those days. It's really a beer treat more than a beer. 

DW: GET IT. Chocolate porters and I don't always get along, but this one played nice and made for a sneaky good treat. 

Cotton Candy Bubble Trouble

Real State Fair Cotton Candy in a champagne flute is doused with Cannon River Winery’s Sparkle Edelweiss for a special “smoke & mirrors” effect that’s effervescent, sweet and snappy. The Hideaway Speakeasy, located in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section. $$$

SM: YOUR CALL. Here's the thing, there's only two things I can say when watching sparkling wine being poured over cotton candy: sugar and bomb. But some people like that.

DW: YOUR CALL. The sparkling wine really is poured over cotton candy, but by the time you take a sip, you'd never know. 

Dill Pickle Beer

This American-style ale’s light malt notes give way to a bright minerality, dry hopped with fresh dill horseradish and spices. Each is garnished with a dill pickle and Havarti dill cheese. 4.2% ABV. 18 IBUs. Brewed in New Richmond, Wis., by Barley John’s Brewery. Giggles’ Campfire Grill, located on the southeast corner of Lee Avenue and Cooper Street, at The North Woods. $$$ 

SM: GET IT. I really liked this beer, and I really like pickles, and I really like dill pickle potato chips, which I wished I was eating with this beer. 

DW: GET IT. Maybe my favorite new Fair beer, the only way these suds were going to soar is if they totally owned their pickle heritage and, man, did they. So pickley. So good. 

Duke of Cuke

This light lager is infused with cucumber for a refreshing, crisp sipper sure to quench your thirst while taking in the Great Minnesota Get-Together. 5.5% ABV. Brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by Insight Brewing. LuLu’s Public House, located at West End Market, south of the Schell’s Stage at Schilling Amphitheater. $$$$

SM: GET IT. Damn refreshing and somehow upper crust feeling . . . like we could have played a round of croquet right there on the plaza. 

DW: GET IT. Insight is quickly becoming the king of high concept suds, and their cucumber beer is no exception. It is to a cucumber what Barley John's Dill Pickle Beer is to a cuke's sour cousin. 

East Lake Brewery Kirby Pucker

A perfect blend of refreshing and tantalizing, this sour wheat beer is modeled on the classic Berliner Weisse with added notes of fresh citrus. 4% ABV. Brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by East Lake Brewery. Ball Park Café, located on the east side of Underwood Street between Dan Patch and Carnes avenues, outside The Garden. $$$$

SM: YOUR CALL. A nicely cutting sour, maybe not one for the pro-sour hounds, but this one will cut through those Ballpark garlic fries in a nosh. 

DW: GET IT. If you like sours and #34, this Berliner Weisse-ish brew is for you.

Grapefruit Ode IPA

Castle Danger has infused refreshing grapefruit into its classic Ode IPA for a hoppy yet fruity beer. With many tropical flavors and aromas, the citrus notes are at the forefront of this balanced IPA sure to please all craft beer lovers. 6.8% ABV. Brewed in Two Harbors, Minn., by Castle Danger Brewery. O’Gara’s at the Fair, located on the southwest corner of Dan Patch Avenue and Cosgrove Street. $$$$

SM: GET IT. It's a slicer, big and bold, and it cuts through the crowd like an agile and bitter Smarchy working her way up Dan Patch. 

DW: GET IT. About as refreshing a 6.8%er as you'll find. 

Lemon Sunshine

This limoncello-inspired ale is perfect for warm, summer days at the fair. This easy-sipping pilsner is accompanied by lemon flavors with just a touch of tartness. 5.1% ABV. 15 IBUs. Brewed in St. Paul, Minn., by Bad Weather Brewing. Mancini’s al Fresco, located on the north side of Carnes Avenue between Nelson and Underwood streets. $$$$$

SM: GET IT. Ali Kaplan loved this beer.

DW: YOUR CALL. I couldn't really find the limoncello in there, but it still tasted good enough that Ali Kaplan, who has maybe never admitted to liking any beer, said she enjoyed it. 

Lingonberry Lager

With a rich golden color, the Lingonberry Lager is medium bodied and features both sweet and tart flavors thanks to this notoriously Scandinavian staple. 5% ABV. Brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by 612 Brewery. Coasters, located on the southeast corner of Carnes Avenue and Liggett Street. $$$$

SM: SKIP IT. I got zero lingonberry. 

DW: YOUR CALL. The beer tasted alright, just not really anything at all like its star ingredient.

Ordinary Mary

This clever take on a bloody mary starts with a neutral still malt beverage (non-carbonated beer), placed into bottles, then poured into a 20 oz. glass mixed with LuLu’s own handcrafted bloody mary mix. This not-just-for-breakfast beverage is finished off with a celery stick and lime garnish. 8% ABV. Neutral still malt beverage is brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by Insight Brewing. LuLu’s Public House, located at West End Market, south of the Schell’s Stage at Schilling Amphitheater. $$$$

SM: GET IT. Peeps are looking for a bloody at the Fair, and this is a smart smart way of giving them one when there's no booze allowed. Insight brewing is genius to devise a malt beverage to make this thing go. I would personally favor a bit more tomato heft, but I liked the celery salt and garnishes, too. 

DW: GET IT. If someone handed you one of these and didn't tell what was in it, you would swear it was made from vodka. 

Raspberry Hard Cider

A blend of Honeycrisp, Haralson and SweeTango apples is brewed with a touch of sorghum to add body, and then fermented dry for a tart, crisp apple flavor. Fresh raspberry puree in the brewing process sweetens the cider with a ripe berry flavor. Gluten-free. 6.4% ABV. Brewed in Minneapolis, Minn., by Sociable CiderWerks. Giggles’ Campfire Grill, located on the southeast corner of Lee Avenue and Cooper Street, at The North Woods. $$$$

SM: GET IT. Of all the berry attempts at beverages this year, this one delivered most. 

DW: GET IT. This one packs a pucker.

Red, Light and Blu Frozen Beer

The refreshing Red Citrus Sangria Beer is layered with Grain Belt Frozen Blu and Grain Belt Premium Light. All beers brewed in New Ulm, Minn., by August Schell Brewing Co., proud sponsor of the Schell’s Stage at Schilling Amphitheater. Schell’s Pavilion, located at West End Market, south of the Schell’s Stage at Schilling Amphitheater. $$$$$

SM: YOUR CALL. It's fine. 

DW: SKIP IT. I like both of the frozen beers that went into it (and Premo, of course), but all three things together just kinda cancelled each other out, flavor-wise.

Summit Lazy Sipper

This beer is a refreshing blonde ale with complex malt notes of toast, breadcrumb, and graham cracker balanced by gentle hop characteristics of lemon, green tea and grapefruit. Brewed with all Minnesota-bred and -grown ingredients, the Lazy Sipper features Lacey barley from Rahr Malting in Shakopee, Cascade and Crystal hops from Mighty Axe in Ham Lake, and fresh strawberries from the University of Minnesota’s strawberry breeding program. 4.9% ABV. Brewed in St. Paul, Minn., by Summit Brewing. Shanghaied Henri’s and the Summit Booth, located at the International Bazaar. $$$$

SM: YOUR CALL*. A good and quenching beer, but either I had blown out my palate by the time I reached it or there was no strawberry, graham cracker, lemon, or green tea in there. 

DW: YOUR CALL*. I'm with Steph. We were actually so confused by the lack of strawberry and graham cracker hints that we went back up and got a second one just to make sure that they gave us the right beer the first time. Even still, it was a solid sip and I had no qualms about finishing it.

*UPDATE 8/25: Turns out, after a little sleuthing, the Summit kids realized that while we were there sipping, the beer lines had been crossed, and we were indeed amongst a batch of drinkers who got the Pils instead of the Lazy Sipper. We'll update the takes when we get the new beer in our faces. But for now, HA WE KNEW IT. 

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Now, it's your turn! Map a food-coma-inducing journey at the Fair: