Uff Da! 29 Places to Go in the Twin Cities When the Weather Is Colder Than Mars

Skyway gems of both downtowns, attached-parking happy hours—it may be insanely cold, but you can still get out there and live!

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Let's cut right to the chase: This is ridiculous. Polar vortex, we hate you! Go back from whence you came, so we can enjoy skating and snow-shoeing when the temperature is above zero, as God intended. Till then, here’s our attached-parking and valet-parking guide to getting out of the house for food and drink treats, when it’s way, way colder than a polar bear’s patootie.

Esker Grove at the Walker Art Center

The attached underground-parking of the Walker Art Center at Esker Grove makes the place one of the most accessible spaces in the Twin Cities year round, whether you’re in a wheel chair or simply want to step out of your car and not into a snowbank. But did you know about all the cool things going on at one of the country’s best museum-restaurants? There’s a happy hour from 4-6 p.m. Tuesdays to Thursdays for your chic budget, wine sipping pleasure. On Thursdays, there’s free admission, thanks to Target’s Free Thursdays program. As of this writing, Walker members get two free tickets to the Independent Spirit Award films on Tuesdays, Wednesday and Saturdays—that goes through February 6.

As one more bonus, Esker Grove is doing a Courses for Cocktails promotion on Thursday nights, where if you order two courses, you get a free cocktail. As you surely know I think Esker Grove is one of the best restaurants in the Twin Cities, and the fact that they’re putting out all these cold-day bonuses just makes me love them more. 

Steph and Dara's Mall of America Winter Picks 2019

Sometimes you just want to walk in circles protected from the elements, and that’s when you head to one of the biggest malls in the country, right? I put my head together with my beloved coworker in all things food and fun here at Mpls.St.Paul Magazine, the lovely Steph March, and this is what we’re feeling most, foodie wise at the mall these days: 

Best Cocktails: Firelake, get the Gin-Gin Mule, for a really pretty example of why all the cool kids these days are into barrel aged gins, like J. Carver showcased here. Best Foodie Shopping: RAAS, where 17 local artisans display their wares in an out of the way, very groovy little corner. Best Ice Cream: Wonders. Did you miss out on the rolled-ice-cream thrillfest last summer? Wonders is king of that bonkers experience, and if it’s wrong to avoid the cold and to go eat ice-cream, I don’t want to be right. Best Bargain Hunter’s Secret: Twin City Grill. Think you can’t find a $4 glass of wine at the mall? Think again! Get a cheap glass rom 3-6 p.m. Monday to Friday, and they also do half-price bottles of wine on Thursday nights, and that happy-hour food menu is pretty appealing. Best Soup: Masu's ramen. If that steamy bowl doesn’t warm you up, I’m pretty sure the rule is that the government is legally obligated to provide you with a hot-tub bubble bath, so you might want to look into that. But it will warm you up, I promise! Best Tea Shop: DAVID’s Tea. Did you know Canada’s favorite tea chain now has a MoA location? Truth! Get some matcha and make yourself matcha lattés at home—so healthy, so easy. (Basic recipe: Matcha, plus hot water, plus sweetener like honey, plus something creamy.) Best Hot Sauce Stop: Pepper Palace. Maybe if you put hot-sauce on your scrambled eggs in the morning you’ll stay warm all day? It's worth a try, folks. It's worth a try. Best Indurrito: Hot Indian! It's worth mentioning that spicy lovely food-truck star Hot Indian has a Mall of America location now, if you want to eat and stroll. Finally, Best Developing Story: Sweet Jesus. Is the new location of Canadian ice-cream shop Sweet Jesus going to be good, or spur Evangelical protests? Keep your eyes on the spot beside Moose Mountain Adventure Golf for further developments. Yes, I said keep your eyes on Sweet Jesus by Moose Mountain, and you're not going to get a better straight-ahead piece of surreal advice this year.  

Minneapolis Skyways

The Dakota 

World class jazz, superb cocktails, a killer burger, the Dakota’s nothing short of a Minneapolis treasure, as well as an ace up your sleeve when bitter cold rolls in.

Constantine 

Sexy like an album cover, underground like a bomb shelter, and offering an unbelievable happy hour that lasts from 5-9 p.m. daily. Pro-move: Go for the cocktails and upscale McDonald’s style treats, stay long enough that logic insists you look into whether you have enough Marriott points for a free room.

Keys at The Foshay

You have to be a little bit of a skyway know-it-all to be able to find the door that leads from the skyway to the Foshay tower Keys. But people, it is worth finding. That’s your key to walking down to downtown’s cheapest happy hour, 3-7 p.m. Monday-Friday. And if you haven’t had the roast-turkey dinner, treat yourself, it’s a nice warm hug from all the home-cooking grandmas of yore, on a plate. 

Prohibition and Manny’s

Please, tell me you haven’t forgotten that America’s favorite steakhouse Manny’s and sexy bar Prohibition are accessible by the skyways. They are!

Gray Fox Coffee and Wine Bar

All the Instagram obsessives go to super-stylish Gray Fox for the atmosphere, but why not buck the trends and go for the 3- 6p.m. happy hour and treat your cute self to some warm donut holes and Champagne?

Oceanaire

There’s a reason real downtown-life pros battle for those Oceanaire happy hour seats in the bar, and the reason is that happy hour menu. Friends, it's terrific.

Copper Pot Indian Grill 

It’s not easy to navigate to the particular corner of the skyway that ends up in the Lumber Exchange Building. But if you can do it, you can get some excellent Indian food, with a lot of beautiful vegetarian options.

Fhima’s

Been pining for a chance to feel like a real American 1940’s movie star, in a setting worthy of Bette Davis or Clark Gable? There’s only one happy hour for you then, in the newly redone landmark Art Deco masterpiece once called the Forum Cafeteria.

St. Paul Skyways

The five miles of St. Paul skyways yield their post-3 p.m. treats mainly to insiders, and if you have insider-goals these are the secrets to unlock.

Union Depot Grill

Feel like starring in an Untouchables remake of your very own? The film-noir glory of St. Paul’s Union Depot cannot be understated, and you can take it all in sitting at the newish Union Depot Grill at their daily happy hour, which runs from 3-6 p.m.

St. Paul Grill 

Surely I already told you that the St. Paul Grill bar is one of the sexiest old-millionaire library spots in the state, and that the cheeseburger is national-class? If I forgot to tell you I’m sorry, it’s like forgetting about the sun, sometimes I just forget how important the most important things are.

Park Square Court Building 

Not to get all architectural historian on you, but are you aware that two great restaurants in Lowertown are in one big building, and that that building is on the skyways? Truth! Anyway, get to chef Justin Sutherland’s Handsome Hog Monday to Saturday 2-5 p.m. happy hour for Frito pie and other delights. Then, the next day, go to the Lowertown Barrio for their weekday 3-6 p.m. happy hour and some killer Queso Fundido.

12 Eyes Brewing: Seriously fascinating beers, and on the skyways too? Lordy, I hope there are taps! (Actually I totally know there are taps, but there's also a Russian Imperial stout, and you know me, I can't just leave these jokes on the floor when they're taunting me like this.) 

The Science Museum: Science museum is open till 9 p.m. on Thursdays and Fridays, and Omnifest, the film series that's also practically a virtual-reality vacation, is going on through February 28. Now, here’s your challenge: Can you get from the Science Museum to 12 Eyes Brewing, without going outside? I believe in you.  

Calhoun Square

Uptown has become largely synonymous with fun summertime cocktails on beautiful rooftop patios, but don’t forget, even when it’s anti-rooftop season we still can access the lovely attached-parking indoor comforts of Calhoun Square. Are you aware how many excellent happy hours still happen in Calhoun Square? 

Sushi Tango’s happy hour might be the last vestige of old Uptown. Come for the fresh fish and bargain pricing, stay to tell everyone you will never, ever get over the Uptown Bar, sacred home of the Replacements (!), being turned into an Apple store.

The Roat Osha happy hour with those irresistible spicy cashews and most excellent chicken satays—do we talk about that enough? Meet your pals to discuss.

Libertine’s happy hour happens every weekday from 4-6 p.m., and is the home of an excellent tap beer list, as well as some very appealing $3 sliders.

Fig + Farro's happy hour is the land of really excellent $4 house kegged wine, every weekday from 4-6 p.m., and you can try small plates from the new menu at that time for $2 off. The yellow pea falafel sounds awfully good.