Editor’s note: Laura Adams, one of the plaintiffs alleging sexual abuse against Jason McLean, has become a public advocate for women who’ve survived sexual misconduct. She spoke to reporter Elizabeth Foy Larsen about trusting women, transparency, and telling her story.
How does the public respond to allegations of sexual assault and sexual abuse?
Historically, victims of sexual assault have been disregarded and belittled at best, while abusers have been let off the hook. Because the system is slanted in their favor. Statistically, it’s only between 2 percent and 10 percent of victims’ claims that actually turn out to reveal that the victim is lying.
We must believe the victims. The courage it takes to reveal that you have been assaulted is profound. The amount of fear and shame you need to wade through in order to speak the truth about it keeps most people silent, and perpetrators know this. They count on it. We have to stop making it so easy for them to get away with it.
When assaults are reported, due diligence is certainly part of the equation. But it’s not the most important thing. If someone robs my house and I go to the police and report the crime, their first reaction is to investigate, not assume that I’m lying. The first and most important thing is to believe the person reporting the crime.
Why did you decide to speak out about what happened to you?
Making the decision to break my silence was partly due to raising children. We rediscover the world through their eyes as they grow up. When my kids reached the ages my friends and I were, I began to see truths about myself that I had never seen before. I think that’s when it really started cracking open for me.
But it was largely due to the support of my husband, and his insistence that I not let McLean “live rent free in my head” anymore, that I found the strength to break my silence. It literally took decades for me to bring these secrets out into the light where they belong. I had no idea that that was normal, but it is. It’s the reason the Minnesota Child Victims Act exists.
What opportunities do you think exist for our community in light of #MeToo?
The #MeToo movement is truly a watershed moment. It has given women permission to step out of their shame and into the light, and that’s where healing happens. I know that most men are shocked by what has been coming out, with some even calling it a collective hysteria, a witch hunt, a sex panic. And the women are like, “Welcome to my world.” The things that are coming out around the realities of sexual harassment and sexual assault have been the norm for women for our whole lives.
Regarding harassment, we have become numb to most of it because it happens so much. We spend our lives adjusting our boundaries and accepting unacceptable behavior from men because it’s just too damn exhausting to fight it after a while. I do hope that this movement puts the safe boundaries for women clearly in view, so men can look at their own behavior and see the truth about how they have participated.
There is an urgency that women feel around our no longer being willing to tolerate harassing behaviors. The floodgate has opened and flows full force. Because there is so much collective energy that has been tamped down over centuries, we want that flood to wash away all of the bad behaviors on the part of men. I don’t see that happening overnight, but I do see an awakening, which is a step in the right direction.
Why do you think abusers go unchecked for so long in their communities?
I have a theory. I think about this a lot and am not sure I can articulate it. Number one, we want to believe that people are good. We want to believe that the people around us have our best interests at heart. That’s how we view the world.
And then you’ve got this thing that human beings also desire, which is to leave a mark. Some people feel that having children is the mark they leave. Some write books. Some make paintings. Some want their name on a plaque on the side of a building. It gives you a sense of meaning and longevity. My name will be here beyond my body. And that my life will be more valuable if we have that thing. So when we see that happen to other people, we admire it. And because want to believe that people are good, we give them a stamp of approval, because of those basic needs.
And then when we see people falter, we automatically want to give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. To be human is to fuck up. That’s what we do. We continually make mistakes and try and do it right and get it wrong. That’s human. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt gives people the space to grow and evolve. But that makes it possible for complicit behavior on the part of bystanders.
The thing about theater is that it attracts vulnerable people and people who are willing to be vulnerable to dig inside themselves: for the character, for the song, the painting, whatever. They want to open themselves up to expose their underbelly.
In safe hands, it’s a beautiful thing. In dangerous hands, really bad things happen. Because actors—we are trained to become what the people want us to be. I need a mother figure for this character—I will be this. We are malleable and try to make ourselves into what’s needed. It makes us vulnerable.
I think that those artistic directors and people who prey upon vulnerable people find a playground in the arts. Because of that piece of us wanting to admire those we give that stamp of approval to, they get carte blanche.
There’s another element. And that’s money. If someone is talented and runs a restaurant that’s great and makes a lot of money. The money speaks and the people in charge of the money dictate how things play out. That’s the truth. Money talks. And money manipulates.
As you know, 21 people either declined to be interviewed for this story or didn’t respond to my calls and emails. Do you have any thoughts about this silence?
These are tricky times. Everyone is trying to be careful with each other, which is good. But it also perpetuates the silence. I suspect that many of the people who didn’t want to talk to you were avoiding it because they didn’t want to get involved. That’s sad to me, but understandable. It’s hard to speak up, especially when you are alone or one of only a few people talking. That’s true for victims and bystanders. There is power in numbers. We find strength to share our own piece when we see others adding theirs.
This interview, which was conducted in person and over email, has been edited for length and clarity.
