HBO
Tom Wambsgans of Succession
Name: Thomas Wambsgans
Occupation: CEO Waystar Royco
Hasn’t been a Twin Citian since: 1992
Hey, “Tom from St. Paul” may be a bootlicking “pain sponge” of a corporate climber, but after winning Succession’s boardroom game of thrones and becoming Waystar Royco's new CEO, we’d like to remind you that he’s our bootlicking pain sponge of a corporate climber. (Or, as his wife Siobhan "Shiv" Roy, one of the main siblings on the show, described him in this week’s series finale: he’s “always willing to suck the biggest dick in the room.” Romance!) Not much is revealed in the show about Tom's backstory in Minnesota—we know he's from St. Paul and his mother was a successful lawyer here—so we imagined what it would be like if Tommy boy himself filled out one of our Twin Citian questionnaires.
Where was your first job?
I learned most of my executive skills as a Camp Counselor at Widjiwagan.
What do you consider the highest character trait in a Minnesotan?
Honesty.
The lowest character flaw?
To paraphrase Nick Carraway, most of us suspect we’re one of the few honest people we’ve ever known.
What do you order when you come home to celebrate?
Nobody’s chicken tastes like the chicken at the St. Paul Hotel. (Well, almost nobody’s.)
Where do you go when you come home to lick your wounds?
The hoi polloi can’t see you bleed in a private room at the Lexington.
Where will you take Shiv to dinner when she finally meets your nan?
The Pool and Yacht Club. The pressure’s off in Lilydale.
Where do you power lunch when home?
The finest table at the original Malt Shop on Larpenteur.
Where do you work out?
As one of my mentors used to say, it’s not gossip if you heard it in the locker room at the St. Paul Athletic Club.
Golf?
I never mind spoiling a good walk at the White Bear Yacht Club.
Get coffee?
Greg, any ideas?
Where can you satisfy your sweet tooth?
The Lollapalooza at Bridgeman’s. I’m insatiable. It used to be a problem.
Who’s the first person you listen to when you get home?
I’ve always found Tom Barnard to be good fun. Is that a dated reference? I understand he has a podcast now—Tommy B’s gone digital!
Who’s a local media personality who gets it?
Adam Platt at Twin Cities Business. Where have all the centrists gone?
What’s the most romantic place in the Twin Cities?
We used to misbehave in the dark beneath the monument to the Great War at the end of Summit Ave. on the River Road. (That sounds like I’m giving directions in William F. Buckley’s accent.)
Most important formal dinner dance of the season?
Far be it from me to boast, but once upon a time, I was a top five draft pick at the Assembly.
Where were you last most inspired while visiting home?
Duck hunting at Diamond Bluff. I can do sporty.
Who is the most important artist from Minnesota?
F. Scott Fitz!
What’s their essential work of art?
The Great Gatsby.
What’s your favorite Lizzo song?
“About Damn Time.”
Just kidding. What’s your favorite Dylan song?
“Gotta Serve Somebody.”
Who’s your favorite Minnesota athlete?
I’ll never forget when Tom Lehman stunned the limeys at Royal Lythm and St. Anne’s in ’96.
Favorite strip club?
The OG Disgusting Brothers used to cross the river to the King of Diamonds.
Favorite weekend escape?
You didn’t hear it from me, but they’re taking new money now at the Encampment on the North Shore.
What do you wish outsiders knew about the Twin Cities?
We’re not exclusively godless libs.
What does the Twin Cities really need?
Red meat and boiling tar.
