As part of our marriage prep (which is both required by the church we’re getting married in and it gives us a sweet discount on our marriage license!), Nate and I had to take separate surveys about our relationship, our upbringing, and our expectations for our marriage. It’s meant to show areas where there is disagreement and hopefully curb problems or arguments that may arise in the future. It was all very straightforward and typical, until I came across one particular question: Is your fiancé the type of person you thought you would marry?
My mind immediately went to a checklist I had created in my early high school years. I had written a list of required (yes, required) qualities of my future husband. The two-sided, college-ruled list included some typical expectations that are still valid:
He should be intelligent.
He should be a good listener.
He should be trustworthy.
...and then some that were a bit superficial:
He should have dark hair, eyes, and skin.
He should be taller than me, but not too much taller.
He should have a good sense of style.
...and then a few more that were, clearly, ultra important to a healthy relationship:
He should have a dog.
He should want to watch TLC with me.
He should not snore.
He should not have a lisp.
Nate doesn’t meet every requirement of my list. But the great thing is, he’s so much better than that list. Finding the right person was not at all what I expected. It’s not something I planned, not something I worked toward, not something that needed a checklist. It was effortless and natural, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.
So I answered “no” to the survey question. No, Nate is not the type of person I thought I would marry. No, he is different than what I thought I wanted. No, he doesn’t follow my list. And, yes, I am going to marry him anyway. How refreshing it has been to find someone even better than what I could’ve dreamed up for myself!
Oh, and that picture of the Coke bottles up top? I found those two this summer, side-by-side on the grocery store shelf. We’re meant to be.