I cried the first day we started wedding planning. Real tears, real sobs. I had spent all of 30 minutes looking at different reception sites and caterers, and was very quickly in hysterics over the costs, details, schedule, and the insurmountable task of planning a wedding.
Nate let me be a whiny baby for a few minutes, but then told me to take a step back and think big picture. “The wedding isn’t happening next week,” he said matter-of-factly. “We have plenty of time, so put your stuff away and don’t think about it.” And that was the night I decided I wasn’t going to let wedding planning make me anything but happy from then on out.
Wedding details are never-ending, and unless I make a conscious decision to routinely set them aside, they begin to wear me down and stress me out. I had heard it from a few people when I got engaged and have found it to be so true: spending time together not planning our wedding has been a necessity. It keeps us sane, relaxed, and excited for our big day.
Nate and I have gotten into a routine of focusing on wedding items for a few nights in a row, and then taking a few nights off. We live and work quite a few miles from one another, so our time together is precious. The nights when we ditched the planning and instead made dinner together or played Trivial Pursuit have been more memorable than the nights we’ve sat with our computers, typing in guests’ addresses and updating our budget sheet. The planning is necessary, but not so necessary that we’re letting it take over our lives.
I’m grateful to have a stress-adverse fiance who keeps me even-keeled, and I’m grateful that we like each other so much that we don’t want the third wheel called “wedding planning” to hang out with us all the time. When people ask me how wedding planning is going, I’ve been able to say “It’s going great!” and really mean it. This first leg of our engagement has been smooth sailing and I’m happy to say that I haven’t relapsed since that first night (I think this is the part where I knock on wood?).