Photo by Megan Daas
We all learn wedding traditions from our families, friends, and pop culture. There are some traditions that I’m planning to keep. I’ll wear a white gown, my dad will walk me down the aisle, and there will be a sit-down dinner followed by a dance. But there are some wedding traditions I’m planning to skip.
A Diamond Engagement Ring
Diamonds are classic and beautiful, but I always wanted a unique engagement ring. I decided on a sapphire stone for a few reasons. Sapphire is my birthstone. I had a slight Gone with the Wind obsession at age 12, and I loved that Scarlet O’Hara’s first engagement ring was a sapphire. Plus, some stylish women named Diana and Catherine accepted a sapphire engagement ring. Picking this blue stone was a perfect fit for me.
Asking Dad’s Permission
Many brides wouldn’t dream of saying “yes” to a proposal unless their boyfriend checked with their father first. But my dad has never been the protective type. When I was dating, he’d say things like, “If he’s good enough for you, he’s good enough for me,” and “I raised you to be an independent, intelligent woman; you’re capable of making your own choices.” I gave my parents a heads up that Sean and I were planning to get engaged. That was more than enough for my dad. In fact, he thanked me for helping him avoid an awkward conversation with Sean.
Getting Married in a Church
Sean and I attended Lutheran churches growing up, and we consider ourselves spiritual. But we’re not very religious. We go to church on the major Christian holidays, but that’s about it. Having a big church ceremony for our wedding just didn’t feel like us. We decided to have both our ceremony and reception at the same location. We’ll incorporate some religious elements into our wedding. But having it outside the church gives us more freedom to make it our own.
Registering for Housewares
Sean will be 36 when we get married, and I’ll be 31. We’ve lived independently as adults for years. We both worked for Target during our careers, so we stocked up on discounted dishes, towels, bedding, and appliances long before we got engaged. We also live in a one-bedroom apartment with minimal storage space. Registering for household items doesn’t make sense for us. Instead, we’re creating a honeymoon registry. Our favorite memories as a couple have been from our trips together, and we want to honeymoon in Spain. Helping us get there would be the best gift we could receive from our guests.
The Bouquet Toss
Lots of people love this tradition. Personally, I’ve never been a fan. The reason? I was single through most of my twenties, and I attended several weddings solo. I dreaded the DJ calling all the single ladies onto the dance floor. Once, I was the only person on the floor besides a couple of little girls. To say it was humiliating would be an understatement. I’m going to skip this tradition at my wedding. I look forward to dancing with all my single (and married) ladies together on the dance floor.
Today, brides have the freedom to choose the traditions that are important to them. Say “yes” to the ones you love—and ditch the ones you don’t.