Natausha and I are celebrating our 30th year of friendship this year. It’s hard to believe it’s really been three decades since we swapped crayons and Barbies in Pre-K in San Ramon, Calif. How can we possibly be that OLD? So, when the friend who’s known me longer than my husband, boss, and stepfather combined asked me to stand by her side as she ties the knot this November, there was only one thing to do: Of course, I started blubbering.
Tausha, my “bestest friend,” called and asked me to be her Matron of Honor. I was thrilled to accept. She stood by my side as Maid of Honor when Sean and I tied the knot in 2002, so technically, yes—that makes me a “Matron.” But ugh matron? As I commented on Facebook, that sounds like something from “The Golden Girls,” don’t you think? My friend and former Mpls.St.Paul colleague Katie Dohman wisely suggested “Best Girl” instead.
Don’t get me wrong—I am beyond honored to support and stand up with Tausha and her betrothed, Aaron, on their big day this fall in California. I can’t wait to plan a shower and/or ladies’ night out, not to mention helping with the dresses, bouquets, and other wonderful wedding details. But this “matron” title got me thinking If I’m still doing yoga, surfing, and going out to happy hour, “matron” just doesn’t seem to fit.
I love some of the more modern bridal party and attendant titles, such as “bridesman” and “groomsmaid.” Or even better: “friend of honor.”
Plenty of local couples are breaking from tradition to grant different titles to their attendants, or asking for witnesses of the opposite sex, advises local planner Rita Swanson of Premier Planning Services. “It’s really about who’s closest to them, and who’s going to support them,” she says.
With this in mind, I found a couple of great resources at my favorite spot for offline Mpls.St.Paul Weddings magazine research: the Minneapolis Central Library. If you’re planning or participating in a wedding and haven’t checked it out (pun intended), go to the 4th floor (Social Sciences) area, and browse their vast collection. In particular, I recommend:
- “The Bridesmaid Handbook”: Author Sharon Naylor breaks it down for us ladies in a cute, purse-sized book. This covers our responsibilities as bridesmaids/matrons, to-do lists, how to look fabulous on the big day, etc.
- “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette”: Peggy Post, great-granddaughter of etiquette grand dame Peggy Post, updates this “definitive guide to your wedding experience” every couple of years. I love this volume (the library has many) because it leans traditional, with a nod to the modern woman.
Do you have some ideas for how to handle these honorary titles and bridal party duties in general? We’d love to hear them. Weigh in, matrons and maids, weigh in!
Photo: Wedding Memories