Bastille Day at Barbette

Who: Francophiles, oyster lovers, and beer fans
What: Barbette’s Fête Nationale (aka Bastille Day) Block Party
When: Sunday, July 13
Where: Outside Barbette, in Uptown
Why: Because in 1789, unhappy French citizens stormed the Bastille in an act of defiance against the soon-to-fall Feudalist system. And if there is one thing this great melting pot is good at, it's using other country's triumphs as a reason to down some PBR.

OK, the closest I've come to France is my copy of Amelie, a Chanel purse, and the occasional cheese plate at Salut, so I had very high expectations for a block party celebrating the birthplace of Catherine Deneuve, Bordeaux, and the hot-air balloon. I had visions of beautiful people lounging at wrought iron café tables, smoking and sipping cafe au lait while discussing film noir and listening to techno versions of bad American pop music. Non, mon cher. Instead a couple thousand bawdy Americans in tight T-shirts and oversized sunglasses used PBR and American wine served in paper cups to wash down their le cheeseburgers and oyster sliders. It was like a French State Fair but with prettier people and better music. So of course, I had to find a French person to get their opinion of the raucous fête. Twenty Andersons and Thompsons later, I had failed to find a single LaCroix or Jean-Claude. Frustrated, I started chasing down everyone who was smoking or wearing a scarf. Mais non. Le sigh.