courtesy Hank's mom
We asked JuiceBox Nation for their similes, metaphors, analogies, and such to describe what it’s really like to parent children in extreme sub-zero temperatures for days on end.
Here are the most accurate.
• Like chewing gum on the moon. —Tony Mogelson, Minneapolis, father to two
• Like tiny, powerful, cheese-grater-laced hammers pounding at sonic speed on your fingers as you attempt to stuff layers of packing peanuts into a plastic bag. —Megan Maloney-Vinz, St. Paul, mother to two
• Like spending an hour on the street scraping and shoveling to get access to your car only to find, after much ado, that it isn't your car. —Anastasia Faunce, Minneapolis, mother to one
• Like getting a flat in the Lowry Tunnel. —Pat Straub, St. Paul, mother to one
• Like being in the blender when the yippee peanuts get puréed into Skippy peanut butter. —Natalie Boike, Crystal, mother to two
• Like preparing chimps for a space shuttle mission that only lasts 40 seconds. —Jason Good, Minneapolis, father to two
• Like stuffing 10 pounds of sausage into a 5-pound casing. —Irene Peterson, Minneapolis, mother to two
• Like watching paint dry, if the paint were screaming and bouncing off the walls, and complaining about being cold while not wearing pants. —Tasha McFarland, Minneapolis, mother to four
• Like when you are struggling to open a package of hotdogs and one slips out and lands on the kitchen floor and you watch as it just lays there, and then you become paralyzed at the idea of having to get in a car and go back to school (as the photo of Hank depicts). —Vonny Kleinman, Minneapolis, mother to one (Hank)
• Like trimming your nails with a chainsaw. —Lori Hughes, White Bear Lake, mother to one
• Like discovering no one replaced the toilet paper roll just about a minute too late. —Lori Watzl-King, St. Anthony Village, mother to three
• !@#$@*&$*&*()+. —Renee Brown, Minnetonka, mother to two