Well it’s August 1, and as of 9:44 a.m. the Minnesota State Fair website, which I have logged onto all winter long just to get the warm-weather comfort-food vibe going has yet to post (AS PROMISED) their list of foods for this year's Great Minnesota Get-Together. I wanted to read the list, just to plant the smell of mini doughnuts, the taste of a Gizmo sandwich, and the crunching sound of a fresh cheese curd firmly in my brain so I can make it through the next twenty-two days before I officially begin to eat my way across the fair grounds. I am crushed.
FIX THE DAMN THING, PEOPLE! If you promise to have it done, deliver it! Or post a notice telling the Pronto Pup–addicted mass (myself included) when to expect the list to be up.
I can’t wait to suck down my first vanilla malt and plate of Mini Cinnies, but part of the fun is perusing the list of new fair foods and playing the food version of fantasy baseball with the item. Will it sell? Will it taste good? Can I have two without embarrassing myself in public?
Here is what I know so far: The Sausage Sistazz have a new item in their booth, but I forget what it is. A little birdie told me that the Axel’s/Bonfire Booth will be doing deep-fried cookies. Lee Ann Chin’s Shrimp Toast on a Stick will be featured for the last time at the Fair . . . thank God . . . and their Cheeseburger Wonton, which debuted in 2006, is now going to be served hot and ready to eat on a chopstick. Their new item this year is a Buffalo Chicken Wonton on a Chopstick. You can’t make this stuff up if you tried. The Blue Moon Dine-In Theater is opening down near the KSTP booth on Carnes, serving waffles, egg bake, hash browns baked with cheese, gorilla bread (chunky caramel bread), cereal bars (Fruit Loops, Cocoa Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Cap'n Crunch, Life, Apple Jacks, Mini Wheats, S'mores, Corn Pops), cereal toppings (bananas, strawberries, blueberries, chocolate chips, candy bar, ice cream, cashews, almonds, pecans), hot dogs—traditional or basted in barbecue or buffalo sauce—seasoned warm chips, hamburgers, veggie burgers, cheeseburgers (mozzarella, parmesan, pepper jack, blue cheese), popcorn chicken bowl, popcorn topped with candy bar shakes with cereal and candy bar flavors, lemonade (raspberry, watermelon, strawberry, peach) and of course bug juice.
Ole and Lena’s, a new booth down near the horse barn, is serving tater-tot hot dish on a stick, served with a creamy mushroom dipping sauce. Can you believe no one has ever done that before? If it is good we can all rejoice, if not I will climb to the top of the sky ride and begin a state-wide sit-in protesting the low quality of the item and the DEARTH OF NEW ITEMS FOR THIS YEAR . . . . Is the world ending? If the Fairborne Food Finder on the MSF web site gets up and running soon, we may find out more, but now you know all I know. Which is next to nothing . . . if you know something I don’t, let me know immediately. I'm just heartbroken.