This is one of the funniest April Fools’ fakes I have ever read. If you want to read it and pass this on in its entirety, go to it.
I am sure that 99 percent of your friends will think this is a real pre-opening alert for what might be the world’s most pretentious restaurant. And if you send it today, they might forget that Tuesday is the 1st!
The funny part is that this satirical piece of tomfoolery by Chicago Reader’s Mike Sula is so close to the real thing that many seasoned food writers and industry types actually called me to see if I planned on checking it out and could I get them a reservation. The tip-offs in this over-the-top piece of fiction are many: the chef’s name is taken from a T. C. Boyle short story about a chef who seduces a female food critic; many of the signature dishes that the chef lays claim to in the Reader piece are actually famous signatures of other Chicago chefs, such as Graham Bowles and Homaru Canto; the idea of using a $5,000 bottle of wine to replace water in a bong is simply an outrage to any weed or wine lover; and perhaps the funniest bit of all is that the house duck is named Joe Moore, the name of the real life Chicago Alderman who spearheaded the Windy City’s foie gras ban.
The true-to-life elements are very real. A young dishwasher at Babbo lying on his resume that he worked the pass there for three years to get a paying line-cook gig; the bribing of city inspectors; the spoiled, childish chef; the esoteric location of Crib; the nomadic dinners; the shot taken at Alan Richman; the non-disclosure statements that guests must sign before entering the restaurant; the camera ban . . . all too real to anyone who lives in the modern restaurant world.
So has anyone experienced anything remotely resembling Crib? At LAN in Beijing, they have a no-camera policy (I smuggled one in anyway) and offer several entrances for famous regulars who are dining with mistresses or working on big deals and require anonymity. I have attended nomadic dinners in several cities, eaten is restaurants without lights of any kind, dined off of human bodies and the like. What about you? What would be your limit for any of this bulls**t in a local restaurant? Just curious.