Apparently, I'm probably not going to see any of the 600 big ones that the friendly IRS is doling out. I guess I have too many kids or my hair is too blonde or I'm under the six-foot-three-inch height requirement. Shocker.
Since I'm not getting any real money, I can afford to fantasize about what I'd do with my take if I did get it (catch up on my mortgage? Pshaw!). And because I'm food-obsessed, it's a truly odd and decadent pondering:
If I had a spare, fancy-free $600, I'd:
—Run the entire list of Belgian beers at Bulldog NE and hire a stretch Hummer to drive me home.
—Pop in to Isles Bun & Coffee early one morning, order six cinnamon rolls, six puppy dog tails, and six caramel rolls, and tip them the rest. Because those kids work early, and they work hard.
—Fly to Maine, find a lobster, eat it.
—Drive down to La Quercia and load up my car with roughly twenty-five pounds of prosciutto.
—Hire a party van to drive my favorite people down to Miesville for a burger and a game.
What about you?