The Uptown Lifestyle?

A closer look at the video that's becoming synonymous with bro-boom of Uptown reveals a startling revelation.

Thanks to Steve "RandballStu" Neuman's hilarious MinnPost skewering of it, we stumbled upon one of the great gems of modern real estate advertising. No, it's not a commercial for a new brownie-flavored vodka or a luxury car dealership, it's the sexy Uptown lifestyle they're selling, and specifically the brand of sexy happening at 1805 Lake Street, apartment #503.

Inspired by the immensely roastable nature of the video (which is actually from November 2013) and the Neuman roast itself, we started formulating our own collection of thoughts, which included, but were not limited to, these:

0:12 They got the producers from Laguna Beach?! Cool.
0:50 Where does he keep all his beauty products? You know he's got loads and this minimalist thing isn't jiving with that.
0:55 Chinese character back tat spotlight.
1:15 He didn't lock his front door! What a badass.
1:19 Wait, it is a car commercial!
1:45 This is the drugs part.
2:07 What a crazy, sexy life. Throwing silk ties on chairs! They don't care! Leave the mess for tomorrow!

We were content in our supposition—and Neuman's—that it all amounted to a ringing endorsement of Crazy Stupid Love-style rabid, sexified materialism, until on a subsequent viewing we noticed the a blink-and-you'll-miss-it detail at 2:19 THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING:


THERE IS A CHILD ON THE BALCONY! Yep, after Zapruder-like analysis it's clear that what at first appears as an inconsequential pink blob is actually a tiny human being in the arms of the video's Gosling (a re-watch revealed the other crucial detail we'd missed: he's wearing a wedding ring almost the entire time). Extrapolating the Kaiser Söze-ian twist has catostrophic reprecussions for the hollow bro-dum original interpretations beget, as we realize that the sexy Uptown lifestyle they're selling is in fact being lived by a family. And, while that's at least somewhat more wholesome, it still leads to oh so many questions and concerns not the least of which are, "Get that child away from the railing!" and "I hope mom and dad are wearing something beneath those robes."

Either way, our minds have been blown.