2013 Holiday Show Guide

The real question is, how much seasonal spirit can you stand?

choral music

From Bliss To Blasphemy

VocalEssence: Welcome Xmas
If angels had vocal cords, they’d sound like this.
Dec. 7–15. Various metro churches

Black Nativity: A Holiday Show
It’s back, in a soul-stirring, concert-style revival.
Dec. 12–22. Penumbra Theatre

All Is Calm: The Christmas Truce of 1914
Take Kleenex; there will be tears.
Dec. 19–22. Pantages Theatre

The New Standards Holiday Show
Chan Poling and company swing the season with the best of them.
Dec. 7–8. State Theatre

Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker
The Russians know what it takes to sell their national chestnut.
Dec. 6–7. Orpheum Theatre

Metropolitan Ballet: Nutcracker
The only Nutcracker in town with a full symphony and Billy Elliot star Giuseppe Bausilio.
Dec. 21. Ted Mann Concert Hall

Loyce Houlton’s Nutcracker Fantasy
A Minnesota tradition, now in its 49th year and aging well.
Dec. 20–23. State Theatre

Ballet Minnesota presents The Classic Nutcracker
It’s the land of the Sugar Plum Fairies running amok: pretty sweet.
Dec. 20–21. The O’Shaughnessy

The Nutcracker According to Mother Goose
Zenon Dance’s answer to all that prissy ballet crap the kids hate.
Dec. 6–7. The Cowles Center

Lorie Line: Born in Bethlehem
She was actually born in Phoenix, but that’s another story.
Dec. 14–15. State Theatre

A Christmas Carol
Would it kill them to add an extra ghost or two?
Nov. 14–Dec. 29. Guthrie Theater

The Blenders Holiday Concert Tour
Even their originals sound seasonally sweet and syrupy.
Dec. 13–15. Pantages Theatre

Martina McBride: The Joy of Christmas
In country music, “joy” is that case of Bud in the fridge.
Dec. 6. State Theatre

John Trones: Christmas in the City
Christmas songs need to be crooned by someone.
Dec. 23. Pantages Theatre

Donny & Marie— Christmas in Minneapolis
How much longer can they pretend to get along?
Dec. 21. Target Center

Ballet of the Dolls Presents Nutcracker—Not So Suite
The Nutcracker for people who hate The Nutcracker.
Dec. 6–31. The Ritz Theater

Viva Noel— A Holiday Cirque
Who knew Santa’s elves could bend their spines 280 degrees?
Nov. 29–Dec. 15. Mystic Lake Showroom

A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol
It’s not every show that gets to be called a “spoof.”
Through Jan 5. New Century Theatre

Rock & Roll Xmas Spectacular
Go ahead, crank up “Silent Night” and wail away.
Dec. 5–8. Chanhassen Dinner Theatres

I Saw Daddy Marry Santa Claus
Well, Virginia, Santa is either gay or a woman. The suit hides a lot.
Through Feb. 1. Brave New Workshop