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The Curdburger & The Turdburger Are Now Actual Things
By: | Posted: 04/13/2006
Last night was Passover—seven people at our house for some serious fressing. Oy vey, I am still stuffed. We went unconventional this year, both with the short Seder and the leavened products (bagels for the salmon and noodles for the brisket) but the meal and the short-format prayers were a big hit, especially with the kids. Let me state here. for the record. that Carol Mack makes a mean matzo ball !!
A few weeks ago I wrote about some crazy press releases I receive on a regular basis. Here’s another juicy one . . .and it’s real! The typos are all theirs.
Opening of an agency specialized in original declarations of love.ApoteoSurprise, an agency that produces themed experiences for couples who plan to travel to Paris and who wish to declare their burning love in a magically original way, has just recently opened its doors. Its out of the ordinary romantic experiences offer couples the chance to visit a dreamlike paradise via orchestrated scenarios set in the charming City of Light :- projection of the declaration of love on the walls of Notre-Dame de Paris at the time of a dinner-cruising,- apparition of the declaration of love on the wings of an airplane or on the big screens of the "Stade de France",- ninety foot message written at the foot of a castle and visible from a helicopter,- wax statue of St Valentine coming to life at the Musée Grévin,- parchment delivered by a prince in the meanders of an enchanted forest,- etc.Each of ApoteoSurprise’s experiences involves the appearance of an exceptional vehicle at the foot of the loving couple’s hotel. Direction : a mystery destination. One of the two will be completely unaware of the surprise that’s being set up and the delightfully subtle scenario will slowly progress towards the apotheosis : his/her sweetheart’s amazing and totally unexpected declaration of love.The forty turnkey experiences are aimed at couples in love who are in search of an unusual and total escape, and who want to ask for their partner’s hand in marriage, commemorate a wedding anniversary, celebrate a honeymoon, or "simply" offer their sweetheart the surprise of his/her life.
Anyway, speaking of magic and burning love, has anyone eaten at Ikea recently? Oh my lord, what a bargain, especially at the snack stand located directly across from the check-out aisles. Fifty-nine-cent dogs, and two-dog combo meals with soda and a big bag of handmade Scando-chips for under three bucks . . .even mammoth ice cream cones that are only a dollar. Wash it all down with lingonberry soda—my new favorite beverage. Once you stuff your face on dogs and ice cream, you have enough energy to browse the store again . . .or do what I do and drift into the prepared foods kiosk, take two tubes (yes, I said tubes) of squeezable creamed herring roe and a box of rye crisps and head on home for some serious snacking. Creamed herring roe is a Swedish caviar spread that tastes like anchovies, salted fish eggs, sugar, and copper, all mixed together. I schmeer it on everything, and even whisk it into vinaigrettes for salads. If you like salty, fishy things, you need to trust me on this one.
Andrew Zimmern is a columnist for Mpls.St.Paul Magazine and the host of Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern.See bio
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